What to do when your boyfriend is ignoring you
Do you feel you have been ghosted? Is your boyfriend ignoring your phone calls and text messages? Why is he not committed?
The saddest thing in a relationship is when the person you love turns out to be a stranger within a twinkle of an hour. “He says he loves me but he’s not in love with me anymore.”
You are trying to reach out to him, but he’s ignoring your calls and not responding to your messages. You feel like he’s treating you like a doormat.
Everything was perfect, but you don’t know where you did wrong. I understand you’re still asking yourself countless questions as you are reading this post.
However, before you conclude that he has ignored you, I would like you to consider these things first.
It could be:
- He is busy at work and can’t respond to your calls.
- Your boyfriend wants to be alone for some time.
- He is in the shower.
Give him some time, he might take longer to reply, but he will surely do. Now, the question is, how long has he been acting weird around you? Has he ignored you for a day or two, or has it’s been a week? If that’s the case, then you have the right to question his actions.
Reasons Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You
Why is your boyfriend ignoring you anyway? There could be countless reasons why your boyfriend is ignoring you. Below are the most common reasons why you’re not a priority to him.
1. He Is Punishing You
When someone is intentionally ignoring you to punish you, it’s because he wants you to feel the pain that uncertainty provokes. He may be motivated by revenge; he feels that you’ve ignored him, so he’s doing the same.
If you’re in the middle of an argument, he might be ignoring you until the situation calms down, especially if he’s uncomfortable with conflicts or feels that arguing is counterproductive.
Even so, being ignored when you’re angry is incredibly frustrating and not a healthy way to solve a dispute.
The best relationships are built on communication. If your partner is unwilling to engage with you to resolve issues and prefers to ignore you, then you should reconsider whether they are mature enough to be in a relationship with you.
2. He Is Not Into You
We often choose to believe that someone is just busy or naturally “bad” at texting; that’s why you don’t feel like you’ve been ignored. But do you want to be with someone who puts contacting you at the bottom of their to-do list? Everyone has a bad day, but there’s no reason why he should be ignoring you in the early days of a relationship.
And if he is, then he’s either still playing games and not ready for a long-lasting relationship or just not that into you. So, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and find out what’s going on.
Well, I understand the need to play it cool and not get too invested. I mean, who wants to be hurt? So, if you’ve been playing it cool and not showing too much interest, maybe he mistook that for you being disinterested. And this is the same vibes he’s giving you.
So, take a chance and be vulnerable, tell him how much you like being with him and that you want to see him. If he’s not on the same page, he will let the guard down and share his feelings.
But if he doesn’t, then you know he’s not that into and you can decide if you want to continue pursuing the relationship or not.
3. He Is Trying To Break-Up With You
Often, someone you’re dating becomes distant because they’re afraid of the confrontation of breaking up with you, they would somewhat fade out of a relationship than end it properly.
If you feel him pulling away and making excuses not to see you, he is using ignoring you as a breakup method.
He’s hoping that you’ll eventually get fed up with being ignored and end the relationship yourself. Or you’ll stop trying, and the relationship will fizzle out without any confrontation.
So what can you do? Instead of being strung along, tell him that you understand if this isn’t working out for him. Then you’ll have the opportunity to move on without any doubt or hesitation.
So, if he wants to break up, you’ve just given him the opportunity. And if he doesn’t want to break up, it allows you to communicate your needs and expectations.
4. He’s Not Alone
Is he cheating on me? Some people put their phones away when they visit their family and friends or are walking closely with a colleague. If that’s the case, he probably does the same when he’s with you, right.
But if he’s a person who is always taking calls and texts even when you’re together, then you might question his motives for ignoring your calls or texts. Is he ignoring because he’s with someone that he is hiding from you?
Here is a real example of a person who was cheating on her boyfriend. Whenever she spent time with her boyfriend, she would block the other guy’s number on her phone.
That way, she wouldn’t risk a text or call coming through and having to explain to her boyfriend. And when she was with the other guy, she temporarily blocked her boyfriend’s number.
She made these men feel ignored as their calls and text messages went unread and unresponded. So, is he ignoring you because he is up to no good? If that’s the case, be prepared for some elaborate explanation for his disappearance.
5. He Is Playing Hard To Get
At the beginning of a relationship, a person may believe they have to “play hard-to-get” to sustain their interest. This kind of behavior is a powerful form of manipulation that, sadly, affects people with low self-esteem.
If you’ve been with a person for a bit and they start taking days and weeks to respond to your message or answer your calls, it gets very frustrating. He wants you to experience that uncertain panic response so that you’ll be more receptive to him when he does reply.
So what do you do? You can call them out of their behavior. You can say something like this:
“You’ve seemed really distant in the past couple of weeks – you haven’t been calling or texting and it takes you hours and days to respond to my message with one or two words. What’s going on, are you ok?“
Try not to be accusatory because he may come up with defensiveness. By the way, that isn’t desperate either. It just let him know that you’ve noticed a change in his behavior and allows him to explain.
Watch This Video: Are You Being Ignored?
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You
Things were going great, and you don’t know what you did to push him away. You have started brainstorming on things that you think are the cause of his sudden change.
Why is he ignoring my phone calls and texts? Does he love me, or does he not want to be alone? Why does he get so quiet? What is he thinking?
These questions keep bubbling through your mind, but still, you’re not tapping into the right emotional frequency to come out with the root cause of what exactly you did to him.
There are things you shouldn’t do at all when you realize he’s ignoring you or when you no longer feel that emotional connectivity.
Don’t Do This 3 Things When BF Is Ignoring You
Below are the 3 terrible things you shouldn’t do when your boyfriend is ignoring you either over text or calls:
1. Stop Begging And Pleading All The Time.
Regardless of how much it hurts, you can’t beg or plead with a person to stay with you. It will only hurt you more and let you feel helpless and frustrated.
Again, begging and pleading will make him cringe and feel sorry for you. And if he ignores you because they can’t handle confrontation, they will undoubtedly move further away if they know you’re begging and pleading to stay in the relationship. Don’t ever do that!
2. Don’t Resort To Hurtful Insults
You’re angry because he’s ignoring you, but confrontations or saying something hurtful will be something that you’ll later regret.
3. Don’t Keep Calling And Texting.
If there’s a legit reason why he’s not responding as much, over-texting or over-calling to get an answer will come off as possessive, insecure, and a little crazy thing to do. He sees your calls and messages.
Besides, if he didn’t see that you’ve been trying to reach him, shouldn’t he be concerned and reach out to you? If he doesn’t respond after a week, you may need to come to grips with the fact that you’ve been ghosted.
What To Do If He’s Ignoring You Over Text
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Now It’s Your Turn To Get Your Boyfriend To Stop Ignoring You.
Sometimes, people in relationships go quiet instead of bringing up issues. If your boyfriend has trouble talking about his feelings, try asking him if there’s anything he’d like to discuss within your relationship or anything disconcerting him.
Don’t try to push hard at him, as discussed with you earlier. Instead, ask him some cute questions like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been a little distant lately. Is there anything you need to bring up?” If he is interested, he will bring something out. Try to give him some space and be yourself.
I’m very interested in your story, and I would like to read it. Let’s have a conversation in the comment section below; I’m always there for you.